Is the Grass always greener? Very rarely my friends, very rarely … so water your own grass and look after it because if you don’t one day while you’re busy peering over the neighbours fence your own grass will be wasting away beyond repair.
Inspired by a wonderful article in the Huffington Post, I started thinking about the world we live in today and how messed up things really have become. We live in a time where so many people constantly look over the fence with envy despite having a world of amazing things right in front of them if they just opened their eyes to see just how lucky they are. Where people are EXPECTING great things … without applying themselves and EARNING them.
Think about this – we all have so many incredible things in our lives that 50, 40, 30 … even 20 years ago people couldn’t even have dreamed of having (well did you ever think in 1993 you would have a phone in your pocket that had the same capabilities as a computer?). Some of us are lucky enough to have a house full of amazing gadgets, nice clothes, clean running water, nice TV’s, games consoles … the list goes on and on. Some truly wonderful, wonderful things that somebody somewhere else in the world would love to have. The sort of things that somebody would give their right arm for. The sort of things somebody somewhere would climb mountains and swim oceans just to have … and then, back here in our world, we’re spending our days glancing enviously at other people and thinking “Look at that lucky b*stard next door, his car is bigger than mine”, or “Why can she afford that TV but we can’t?”, or “We could never afford that holiday so how can they?”.
You’ll know it, you’ll have seen it and at some point in your life you will have been guilty of it. Here we are in a technological era with amazing things all around and still we want more. Still we EXPECT more … and when we don’t get it we get frustrated, we get angry, we get sad. It doesn’t have to be that way, there is a way to appreciate what you have but you have to get back to reality. You have to stop in your tracks, sit down and write down all the things you have. Take days or weeks if you have to, compile a huge list of all the things you have to be grateful for. Read it over and over, prioritise the most important to you and focus on that happiness having those things “should” bring and how lucky you are. Put those priorities at the top but keep every little thing you put on there so one day you can look back on them and count each and every single blessing you have. Now any time you get green with envy give yourself the required wake-up call by reading that list over. Just look at the list and truly digest just how lucky you are. Yes, you could have more and yes, it would be nice to have even more luxuries but unless you appreciate what you have right now getting more and more will only go unappreciated as well.
Now on to those “Lucky b*astards” on the other side of the fence – don’t you just hate those guys! Those guys with lush green grass, nice cars and “apparent” wads of money that YOU delude yourself into thinking are so much luckier than you. So much more better off than you, happier than you … even though you don’t know their whole story. Here’s a fact, as much as you think you know someone’s full story, with baggage and all, you don’t! It’s a simple fact. You don’t know all their insecurities, their inner battles, their family troubles or their hidden heartbreak that they have to carry with them daily. Cut them a break, maybe they are lucky … but did you ever think that maybe they work hard for their perceived “luck”? Or maybe the truth is they are majorly unlucky but so desperate to appear lucky that they throw themselves into thousands of debt so that they appear “lucky” to the outside world! You don’t know the full story and shouldn’t be fooled by the hype they post on Facebook or the built up stories they weave every time they talk. People paint a picture they want others to see, nobody is going to admit their insecurities and that they put on a façade every time they face the outside world. Nobody is going to admit that they are struggling financially and have maxed out 4 credit cards already – and that they’re credit check bounces higher than a rubber ball. Stop focussing on other people and start focussing on you and all that you have. These “lucky” folk on the other side have their own baggage to carry and troubles you don’t even know about so forget about them … live your own life, your own way and don’t create more baggage to carry yourself.
A closing note to consider – There will always be something you don’t have or something you can’t do. That will always be there. You MUST NOT get hung up on it. There will always be people painting a picture that they are better off than you. There will always be people who actually are wealthier than you through hard work, good fortune or a financially prosperous family line. That’s ok, that’ s not your problem, that’s not YOUR LIFE. It’s ok to want new things and be ambitious, just don’t let it frustrate you or affect your mood. Appreciate what you have daily, count all your blessings and improve all their areas you can within your means. Gratitude really is the key to a happy mind.
Enjoy the greatness surrounding us, teach your families to do the same and to see all the goodness in people and all those amazing things that this messed up world has to offer.
When someone says you can’t achieve something, that there is something that you’ll never manage to do … there are only two words you need to say back … “Watch Me!”.
I left school at the age of 16 with no higher qualifications and by the age of 19 I was in an extremely mundane dead-end job listening to all those people who said I couldn’t do something special with my life. Listening to all those people who made out I was stupid just because they had no ambition themselves.
Then one day I decided to prove them wrong, I decided to prove to myself and to the world that I was capable of much more. I handed in my notice and decided if I wanted to make something of myself I would have to go back to college.
Every time I told friends or family I was doing it the message back was resounding “what’s the point in that”, “what a waste of time” and “you’ll never get a degree”. It was deafening … but it didn’t stop me.
Sure a few people said well done and a few believed I could achieve great things and that was supportive, my mum being one of them but the overall consensus was “you’re wasting your time”.
But I kept going and day by day, month by month my self-belief grew. My confidence in my own abilities soared … and 4 years later I proved all the doubters wrong standing proudly with my degree and a world of self-made opportunities at my door.
15 years on from the day I announced I was quitting my job I am now a business executive living in a home I only once dreamed of having with 2 beautiful kids and an amazing wife.
Moral of the story – believe in yourself or nobody else can. Don’t listen to doubters and go out there and make things happen.
This is your life, don’t let others fears and judgements hold you back … you have the key and power to do whatever you choose so make your choices wisely and make them happen.
Show the world what you’re made of!
At the start of the year I stumbled across the secrets to the full power of my subconscious mind and feel it is something that everyone should know about. I made the discovery after waking up one day in a great mood but within 15 minutes, where nothing had happened, I had become miserable. This set off an emergency alarm. For the first time I had picked up on my mood changing with no real reason.
I immediately started investigating how my subconscious impacted my general feelings. I was astounded by what I found. I unearthed more than I ever imagined. I discovered that my subconscious was basically like a computer that accepts everything you show it as fact and that it was fully in control of my “auto-pilot” state, which according to research is in control of your actions for up to 90% of the day. I talk about auto-pilot as it does things for you that you take for granted, all the basics like breathing and much more. Have you ever driven to work and not really been conscious of what happened on the journey. I sure have. Or have you ever been doing something and day dreaming and then your conscious kicks back in to remind you what you were actually doing, like the subconscious is saying “Ok, I carried you this far, you need to start focussing on the task at hand. It requires concentration for this bit”. I know I have. This is how people can pick up a guitar and start playing it, the subconscious knows how to play. Any skills you have that you take for granted, it is all down the subconscious knowing that it is possible and allowing you to do it.
Up to the start of this year I had been filling my mind with money worries, terrible negative news stories that are in the news every single day, negative talk about everything … my job, my situation, myself, my insecurities, my worries. Everything negative you can think of was getting “loaded” in and “saved” as default so it was no wonder that when the “auto-pilot” was passed controls that it regularly flew straight into a negative worrying mode!
On initial research I quickly discovered that if you feed your mind negative information, constantly complain about everything or think about your worries you are just making yourself more negative and causing yourself to find more to complain. If you have a negative attitude and a negative programmed subconscious you will not only see all the negatives around, you’ll actually attract more and more negative things into your life.
I learned that if you tell yourself something enough and believe it to be true your subconscious will do everything in its power to make that a reality. You have to focus on the positives, feed in everything you want over and over until you fully believe everything you want is possible … and your subconscious might, just might if you believe it enough, push you on in the direction you need to go to make things happen.
During this investigation I stumbled across old things I’d learned like affirmations, incantations (Tony Robbins) and visualisations. The law of attraction came up a few times and some more wilder ideas like how your subconscious can impact the universe and make things happen just by you believing they are possible. A little far-fetched I know and no clear proof but what is the harm in giving it a try.
The biggest few major discoveries I made were found in “The Power of Your Subconscious Mind” book by Joseph Murphy (available in PDF format online). Mainly a description in the book explaining how you are the captain of your ship; that you have to tell the subconscious that the captain is in charge here and that this is what is going to happen. I tried this technique the same day I read it and it brought amazing instant results that same day and even more over the next 2 weeks … but after that I let it slip and it would be two months before the captain took back over for good.
I drifted back into my normal life after this and inevitably the negative thoughts crept back in. I let them stick around for another month or so before I tackled them head on and made some life changing decisions. Once I identified that I had fell back into a slump I decided that something had to change for good. I did more extensive research into the best way to get my subconscious mind positive and other techniques to use in my life and I started to implement them.
The first thing I learned that I decided to implement was telling the universe and my subconscious exactly what I wanted and who I wanted / believed to be. I decided to set out a few goals and just say them out loud in the car on the way to work. The key was to be firm when stating them; telling my mind that these were true and that this is what’s happening. It brought good initial results but I had set some too far ahead to have close in evidence. I was saying things like in the next 2 years I’ll be promoted to this or be earning that so I changed it up and forced the changes in earlier. I challenged the universe to deliver and so far any sign or improvement I’ve asked for have happened.
I also affirmed the person I am, all the good qualities I possess. I went over and over every day until my subconscious accepted what I was stating as fact. It works to remind you of who you truly are and if there are areas you want to improve on you can include these as well and convince yourself that these are becoming true. You can’t just say it though, it has to be said with belief and conviction otherwise you are wasting your time. Tell your subconscious who you are and what you can achieve and it will attract opportunities to you … then you have to grab these opportunities with both hands. You will get subtle signs of what you have to do. Your mind will whisper the next step to take … but only you can make that step towards success.
Don’t think you can just say all the things you want and sit back, nothing will happen if you do. I fed my mind the idea of getting ahead in my career, I kept telling it what was going to happen … and instead of sitting back waiting for it to happen my mind started throwing up ideas how I could make it happen. All of a sudden I could see the steps I could take to put myself in the spotlight, to get myself and more importantly my highly toned skill set noticed by the right people. Ask yourself the right questions and subconscious will help you find the right solutions. This will take work, success doesn’t just arrive on your doorstep in a big bow. You have to earn it! Tell your subconscious the right things and it will push you in the direction you need to go to accomplish your goals.
Take some time to think about what you really want, not what other people say you should want … but what you truly desire for yourself. Write it all down. Write down a list of all the things you want to achieve; set time parameters for when you expect them to be delivered. The next step is to train your subconscious to go after these goals. The next time you are in the car firmly state, in a manner that makes you believe it to be true, all the things you are “going” to achieve. Shouting at yourself in the car may sound a little crazy but it is not something I’m embarrassed to do (I’ve been singing in the car for years anyway) so I gave it a shot and the results started coming. I still have a lot of unanswered goals but now I am working as a team with my subconscious the solutions are starting to appear. This works, it really does … just don’t expect things to fall into your lap. The subconscious will kick up the solutions / theories for you … but you have to then put them into action and follow them through. That takes discipline and motivation; keep yourself motivated every day. Look at your goals and dreams every day. Force them into your subconscious and let it help you.
Use visualisations and the law of attraction. These are very similar and to be used in-conjunction with the above technique, only this time adding images into the fray. If you have a dream house, a target salary, a dream car – get a photo of it or have it written down and look at it all the time. Those moments when you pass time by glancing at your phone and press on Facebook or Twitter or Instagram – change that, and instead take a quick look at your goals in life. Take a minute instead of reading over statuses you’ve read a hundred times. Plant the seed of your dreams daily and let your subconscious push you in the direction that will make them reality. Picture yourself in that house, or how you will be when your earn that salary or drive that car. Try to get a mental picture of it.
The biggest point I can make following this is that you have to feed your mind these beliefs and goals so many times. Once won’t cut it, twice isn’t enough. You have go over these daily. Record them and listen over and over. The best time to do this is before bed. Look at the pictures and words, look at your plan. Think about it and try to picture it. How it will look, how you will feel. Plant these seeds firmly into your subconscious before you go to sleep and let it digest the data, it will find ways to make it happen and push you to do what needs to be done. Nothing is going to fall into your lap … but if you set the goals and keep focussed on them anything is possible.
I recently watched some You Tube clips of Will Smith, one of my idols, and in one interview with Travis Smiley, Will mentioned the book called The Alchemist written by Paulo Coelho and how it changed his life.
If a book has such a profound affect on a great thinker and inspirational guy like Will then I thought it was worth giving it a go.
I bought it and read the full thing in less than a week and wasn’t disappointed. Don’t get me wrong it’s not a long book and is so intriguing that you’ll rattle through the 197 pages in no time.
What was refreshing and inspiring was that I got the story, I recognised the hidden meanings and what the book was teaching. It was almost a eureka moment at the end as I applied the theory to my life and pin pointed my own “personal legend”.
This book is about a young man searching for his treasure (his meaning of life) and what he learned along the way. If you just read the words and apply no thought to it you will be wasting your time.
But if you read it with an open mind and think about your own purpose in life you might just wake up to the reason you’re here… your calling in life.
Some people may think that’s nonsense and that everything that happens is a coincidence. That you get from life what you take from it.
Others will know there are no such thing as coincidences, no mistakes, no lucky breaks … that each thing that happens in your life is meant to happen. Fate if you will or signs from the universe that you’re on the right … or wrong track.
I’m starting to become the second guy. Since reading the book and moving towards my own purpose the universe has thrown me quite a few “green light” signals that tell me I’m now on the right path and heading the right direction. I’ll keep heading that way and if I get off course I’m sure something will pop up to remind me why I’m here.
It may sound a little far fetched … but what have you got to lose. It might just open your mind up to a better future pursuing your own purpose.
If you’ve read the book please leave me a comment on what you got from the book or what you thought of it.
Tonight I changed a life. Tonight I took someone from having life threatening anxiety attacks to seeing the true potential of their life.
I am so excited to post this information that it may be a little early and not fully complete but I will follow it up.
I passed on some life changing information to an old acquaintance that I ran into merely by chance. He was and is an over thinker. A worrier battling with everything negative life was throwing at him and this advice might just end up saving his life.
Tonight he confided in me he had been in hospital with a suspected heart attack recently solely down to the fact he is an over thinker. Because, like I used to, he worried too much.
I let him know what set me free:
- Turn off the news – everything they show is negative.
- Look at the positive – start a gratitude list and highlight all your successes from each day.
- Take responsibility – stop sharing negative information with your mind (news/social media etc) and choose to share only good things.
- Take control – you are the captain of this ship. Make everything you share with your mind positive, meaningful and start making things happen.
- Set targets – now you are in control tell your mind what you want to achieve. Set yourself positive plans for the future.
I explained how the news is full of negative stories, every day. People being killed, murdered, raped, kids being tortured, abuse, the lot. Turn it off. It is dragging you down.
Number 2, you are in charge here. Don’t let excuses or other people’s priorities set how you live. You can set your own standards.
Number 3, and probably the most important, determine how you live. Your subconscious is like a computer. Fill it full of negative information and it will undoubtedly bring negative results.
As proven by myself, and my old friend, if you tell yourself you are struggling for money you will, undoubtedly, struggle for money … as soon as you believe you are comfortable you will prove to your mind that is true … and the sooner money will come into your life.
It is the same for everything, if you want success – tell yourself you have all the abilities you need to get the success you deserve and I fully believe if you’ve worked for it it’ll come your way.
It is just like a computer, whatever you tell the back part of your mind (your sub conscious) it will believe to be true. If you tell it all about how good you are enough times it will start to believe it, no questions asked. It will log it in its own special system how great you are.
If you tell it you are a loser who can’t do anything right it will believe that instead and you’re going to struggle to do anything. You will go from one negative slump to the next.
The front part of your mind is the thought process, the back part is what makes basic things like driving to work an automatic result. You can programme the back part of your mind to be whatever you want it to be. Make the back positive, tell it anything is possible.
Programme your mind to think that you are unstoppable and the rest of you will follow … but you have to believe it yourself. You have to step in to the automatic processes and say, here’s who I am and here’s how I do it better!
I told this to my old school friend … that life can be better. That’s only if he starts looking for the positives, stops worrying as much and, through my techniques, starts taking ownership of his own thoughts and finding the positives all around.
My old friend couldn’t have been more happy with what I had told him. He felt an instant weight and pressure lifted from his shoulders. He understood my logic and could clearly see how it could impact his life. I could see the change he wanted and needed actually start happening in front of me. Later he would thank me again and tell me it is the best advice he has ever received.
Just use these simple steps:
- Remove negative input – you don’t need to be exposed to that every day.
- Focus on all the good things in your life – you’ll find an endless list of things.
- Take control of what you want and ask the universe for it – it really is as simple as that.
- Create a plan that you can stick to – think about what you really want.
- Believe you can achieve anything – set achievable goals and if you truly want then you can make it happen.
- Tell your sub conscious all your plans and all your dreams – do this over and over and over, on a daily basis. Let it step in to make these dreams happen.
Your sub conscious wants everything you tell it to be true. If it’s not true it will move heaven and earth to help you make your dream turn into reality.
Trust in your own strength and let it guide you to your own personal legend!
If anyone reading doesn’t quite follow what I’ve said please comment or let me know and I will try to explain how it works even more. Being the master of your own sub-conscious will change your life! I will also explain the amazing power of your own sub conscious mind in my next post.